User:Edbritton
Ed Britton (Born 1984 - Present). Edvard Britton was born in the, Democratic Republic of the Congo. His father Hubert Britton, was a Bulgarian born Tight-Rope Walker and his mother Chevronella Barker was an elephant trainer.
Early Life
Edvard Britton was born in the Congo after the Ringling Circus (the company that both Ed's parents worked for) was stranded for 2 months after an unseasonal banana fall. Ed grew up in the Ringling Circus, which was not what his parent had intended. Ed's parents had planned to run away from the circus before Ed's birth and set up new lives as Phlebotomists.
Ed took to circus life very easily and started to develope his own skill, balancing. It is noted that Ed was able to balance a chair and a broom at the same time on his chin at the age of 3 years old, as a result Mr Ringling convinced Ed's parents to train him.
Ed stayed with the Circus and started to develope his routine, quickly moving into larger and more dangerous objects to balance.
When Edvard was 10 years old he broke the Balancing World Record, he successfully stacked and balanced 8 chairs on his chin with his younger brother Gottelieb (who was aged 3) sitting in the top chair eating a Knickerbocker Glory. Edvard himself was balancing on one of his Mothers trained Elephants. The record has remained undefeated ever since, the only person to attempt it was the famous French balancer Jacques Montrousse, who managed 5 chairs and a toddler.
On his 14th Birthday he performed his most famous balance act for the first time. Ed would balance a large Bengal tiger on his head, whilst simultaneously balancing a live chicken on a stick on each elbow.
The stunt was a great success and Ed shot to fame and by his 16th birthday had performed the routine, an astonishing 1,427 times.
When asked to coment on his routine Ed said "Aylesbury!"[1].
Career
However things didn't always go to plan.
"The trick is not in the balancing, but in the convincing of a tiger not to eat a chicken"
Ed was performing at the Royal Albert Hall, for a charity fundraising event in aid of Children with Unpleasant and Nasty Terminal Sickness (C.U.N.T.S.).
The act was going well and Ed had got Aylesbury the tiger balancing comfortably on his head and was starting to balance the chickens, when unexpectadley one of the chickens laid an egg. This had never happened and before a stage hand could retrieve the egg, Aylesbury leapt for it. The chicken darted towards the egg in an effort to protect it and a scirmish ensued, the chicken bit the dust.
With a taste for blood the tiger went wild and lept into the audience, luckily a gun-toting American shot Aylesbury the Tiger dead.
Ed was devistated and ran from the venue leaving everything he owned. Edvard Britton disappeared, not to be seen again for 6 years.
Death and Return
Edvard Britton was listed as Missing, presumed dead and was officially declared Deceased on 3rd November 2004.
His funeral was organised by his parents and the Ringling Brothers who owned the Ringling Circus where Edvard grew up. Over 2,000 people attended the public service, where Edvard symbolic coffin was carried down an isle of 200 circus performers all balancing brooms on their chins, in honour of Edvard.
The coffin was cremated and the ashes were mixed with the sawdust that covered the circus floor, when asked why, Edvards mother Chevronella said
"He was bred in circus, born in circus, lived in circus, it only seems appropriate that we lay his soul to rest, forever, in circus."
Over the years there were rumors of Ed being sited, when ever these claims were made the Ringling brothers would launch a crack squad of Private Detectives, but not one ever found any proof for Edvard still being alive.
One of the detectives even lost their life, after a climber said he had spotted Edvard at the top of Mount Everest. Detective Troy Gonafindya had succesfully climed Mnt Everest and was celebrating with a cup of coffee. Unfortunatly the Sherpah's had engaged in a snowball fight and a stray snowball caught Detective Troy on the elbow. The knock caused the detective to spill his coffee over his groin, thus inducing a spasm causing him to slip and fall, to his death.
On 6th May 2007, Edvard Britton was discovered by Mr Frank Kerr of Little Rock, Texas. Mr Kerr was holidaying at Butlins in Bude, Cornwall.
He was spending the day at the beach, to study the Seasonal Hiatus In Temperature (S.H.I.T),a weather pattern indicitive to the United Kingdom.
Mr Kerr was distracted by the surfers on the beach,
"I was watchin'em all clad up in'em wetsuits, when i noticed one of'em balancing a surfboard on his elbow whilst tryin' to fetch another board off the top'a his van."
Mr Kerr was intrigued by the talent displayed by the surfer.
"It occured to me tha' i'd seen somthin' like this before, long long time ago. Then i remembered! For my daughter, Lou-ann's 12th Birthday i'd took her to see this Circus dude, what went missin' couple a months later."
Mr Kerr then recounts that he called out to Edvard Britton, who upon hearing his name Edvard attempted to flee. Luckily, Edvard Brittons mode of transportation was a 1973 VW camperVan(in babyblue), a vehicle notorious for breaking down. The Van apparently travelled 200 yards before the engine dropped out. Edvard Britton was found.